Intimacy
Within the Collective Consciousness there is a core wounding that goes back millennia. I’m going to go out on a limb here and blame religion for this one, because you do not see this distortion within the animal kingdom.
The human animal places labels on the different types of human physical interaction, and assigns them a negative or positive connotation. Sex is a loaded weapon within this social construct, and women are held to a much different standard than men. Why is this? I think we have to go back to the dawn of the patriarchy with it’s fear of women and the control that has been exerted over the feminine for thousands of years. The feminine is naturally nurturing, while the masculine in its distorted form, tends to be more fearful and controlling. Isolating.
“Oh but we are better than the animals”. Really? Are we? Humans are the only species that destroys its own environment in the name of progress. We are the only ones that pay to live here. We are slaves to an idea that we hold dominion over this planet and all that exist upon it. This is a foolish, self destructive, way of thinking, and before we completely destroy ourselves we have to take a long hard look at what we are doing. I propose that we should look to the animals and plants to learn how to coexist.
Life is complex and I’m not really saying we should give up and live like animals, but there are many lessons to be had. Within the animal kingdom, amongst the prides of lions, the bands of monkeys, packs of wild dogs, flocks of birds, hives of insects and so on, there is a sense of cooperation and respect that, for the most part, we do not see amongst humans. We see selfish, greedy attitudes and behaviors that lead to all kinds of turmoil. Religion is such a key player in this, as the holy books of all the major religions are filled with stories of violence and oppression, control, fear. Within the Abrahamic religions there is an overt subjugation of all things feminine, and while there are pockets of truth teachings about coexistence, kindness, compassion, etcetera, the overarching theme is control by fear.
Now, how does this connect to intimacy? If you watch animals within their own families/groups, there is a level of intimacy that we do not often see with humans. In the wild, you will see animals gently grooming one another, laying close to one another, touching one another, seeking closeness and companionship. Sex is for procreation AND for pleasure, and you with see all kinds of bonds between the males, females that in our human language, have been labeled “unatural”. But it is natural. It is natural to seek the warmth and comfort of another, regardless of the attachment to sex.
As a massage therapist, I have come to see that as a society we are incredibly touch deprived, and most people do not know how important physical contact is to our mental and emotional well being. We are taught to fear or distrust our own nature, and while I have no real idea when or where this came into play in the human psyche, the reality is that it has, and we are suffering for it. A simple touch can go along way towards bridging the divide that has been in place for far too long, and can open the door to connection to something greater than oneself.
Within human relationships, we struggle to find and maintain connections that “should” be natural, but due to social conditioning, we falsely believe that we can control our natural impulses. We are human animals after all. Religions and social constructs teach us to place value on specific types of intimacy ie: mother - child, or husband - wife, while at the same time labeling other interactions as a sin. We have advanced so much with technology that we can interact virtually with people all over the planet, yet we don’t connect with those sitting right in front of us.
I don’t have any answers here, I am simply pondering the logic of our behavior and wondering, how can we reconnect? .
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